I think that’s the reality. Life isn’t supposed to be fair and once we stop expecting it to be, we can focus on navigating through the challenges. We are not in control of what life throws at us but we are absolutely in control of how we respond.
I was exposed to this idea as a young adult but it didn’t really sink in. My dad had weathered a series of “unfair” events in his business, roadblocks so to speak, caused by the carelessness of others. He was always undeterred, always moving forward until a catastrophe forced him to sell out. I remember the night he explained the situation to my mother. She said to him, “God, Wayne, that is so unfair.” To which he responded, “No one ever said life is supposed to be fair. It will make us better people.” To that she replied, “I don’t want to be better people.” I understood her sentiment. But they had no choice, and my dad set a new direction…again becoming very successful.
He was incredibly happy throughout his life and I think much of that had to do with his expectations. He didn’t expect much from the world so when the world treated him well, it was a bonus. He did expect a lot from himself but he had control over that. It’s only now, in my 50s that I get it.
Life isn’t supposed to be fair. Once you figure that out, the rest is easy.