I was reading my friend Joy Jordan’s blog about the layers of emotion connected to change.
She says, “Emotions we attach to the unknown, like difficulty, doubt, dis-ease, trust, transition, vulnerability, risk–are not easy to process; not easy to sit with. Yet this is most of life. The world constantly changes. Real life interrupts our plans. Surprises abound creating an uneasiness that we try to band-aid with a false sense of control…”
The fears she talks about are universal and unfortunately they can paralyze us. They’re the same fears that keep us from choosing to change things in our personal lives, things we CAN control. It’s easier to stay the course, even when change is better, even when our current path is miserable. Sometimes we “try” to change and fail and “try” again, but in the end, stay the same. We have long ingrained habits built around the way things are. It’s what we know. It’s safe.
Examples: Unhappy marriages, the 20+ lbs that turned into 30, dysfunctional work relationships, clutter around the house, etc… It’s easy to find people who are living unhappily-ever-after in some aspect of their lives because “trying” to change is hard.
Stop that! As Yoda would say, “Do or do not…there is no try.”
When you say, “I’ll try.” you’re saying one of two thing: “I’m not committed.” or “I’m not sure I can.”
If you take a minute to think about it, most of the change fears you have aren’t related to ability. That’s a reflex excuse. You do have the ability to eat healthier or eat less or exercise more. You do have the ability to organize your home and office. You do have the ability to work on relationships.
Bottom line: Most of the change fears we have are related to commitment. We want it, but not as much as we want something else. Commitment is an absolute. To succeed we have to be all in, no matter the hardship that might cross our path. Change comes from having undying passion for the outcome. It’s a choice.
Why not pick something to change in 2013? Read books and blogs that support you. Journal your emotions and frustrations along the way. Recruit your friends to hold you accountable. Set specific smaller goals to keep you on track. And don’t give up until you succeed. In other words, COMMIT…go all in. 100% all in. You’re worth it.