I used to think high school boys didn’t talk much about their conquests. I also didn’t think they cared about the amount of sexual experience a girl accumulated. It makes sense that boys who want experience look for girls willing to play the game. I’m sure they’re grateful when they succeed, too. However, I never realized how disrespectful they can be.
Having teenage sons is eye-opening. I’ve overheard some disturbing comments in the past two years but this particular conversation proves how dangerous it is for teenage girls to trust their reputations with teenage boys:
Boy #1 commented on how “hot” a particular girl was.
Boy #2: “Na, you’re better than that. She’s been tapped a few times already.”
Boy #3: “Ya, and so have most of her friends. There’s not much left in that class.”
Boy #4: “That’s why I like Taylor. She’s respectable, not like the overly experienced girls.”
The worst thing about this conversation is that I later learned that boys 1,2,&3 are experienced. They encourage girls to “give it up” and then apparently, they turn around and talk about them like they’re objects.
So ladies, what side of that equation do you want to be on: the respectable side or the overly experienced side?
Here’s a thought. If you think it’s too late…it’s not. You have all the power. You decide how much respect you deserve. Next time you’re dating someone and it quickly goes in a physical direction, shut it down. Be confident enough to say something like, “You know what, I’ve been there, done that and if that’s what you’re about, go somewhere else. I’m not an object. If you want to get to know me, chill.”
If he goes away…lucky you. Over time, you can build any reputation you want. Rock on, Ladies…you’re worth it.